I sit my ‘self’ down, the fatigue and overwhelm of the day beginning to weigh heavily on me. I crave solace, which draws me to a homecoming within my meditation practice. Like leaves on a tree, every meditation session is similar yet different. Each time we sit to get still, to go within and find a space of calm to simply be present, a special experience that has never happened before greets us. Each time is unique. The motions and posture may look similar, but we are not the same person we were yesterday. Each day our cells regenerate and our thoughts and emotions ebb and flow. No two days have the same circumstances, emotions, thoughts, reactions and triggers – all is fresh and new. This is one of my favorite, albeit sometimes most challenging, patterns in my meditation practice. What felt easy yesterday is a struggle today
“Are you really doing anything by just sitting here? Well, yes in fact you are. Because doing nothing is doing something. Pausing is a purposeful act of kindness toward yourself. It’s how we catch our breath, recharge, and gain perspective.” — Tamara Levitt
So I sit. I get reasonably comfortable and settle in, and then it happens: Ack, this pillow needs to go. Ok, deep breath. What is that noise outside? Try to ignore it. Still not comfortable. Do I want my legs crossed or feet on the floor today? Aahh, decisions decisions. Legs crossed hurts my knees, so let’s go with feet on the floor. I’m hungry, what should I make for dinner? Ugh, this chair isn’t as comfortable as I had hoped it would be. Should I move? I wonder what time it is. How long have I been sitting here? Geez, I haven’t even started the meditation yet and I can’t sit still, what’s wrong with me? … I’m ‘supposed’ to have stillness and focus on my breath.
Instead, my mind is like a puppy that refuses to obey and sit, running from one thought to the next in rapid succession, grabbing on with teeth ready to play tug of war. Yesterday’s meditation was different and tomorrow’s will also change and evolve. This the unpredictable nature of maintaining a consistent meditation practice. Our brains are busy and our bodies can be fidgety. If you are expecting it to always be the same and to do it: ‘right, perfect, without thinking, being good at it’, or any other means of measuring your progress that we humans seem so determined to demand of ourselves, then you’re setting yourself up for not wanting to meditate ever again. Judgmental expectations and restrictions aren’t exactly motivating or inspiring! Self-criticism sneaks onto our meditation cushions without an invitation. This is an opportunity for patience and kindness for ourselves, which broadens our capacity to offer it to others. In this regard, any one person’s meditation practice is having a positive ripple effect on all of humanity, so it’s bigger than just you and me!
Each time I sit, my intention is to just be. To be a quiet observer of what happens when I take a moment to slow down. To be an open space for loving kindness to flow through. To embrace what this moment has to offer while my mind skips from past to future and back again. To allow my mind and body to rejoin one another while I notice the gift of oxygen moving in and out of my body – rhythmically and life sustaining. It has taken me many years to get to a place of allowance and acceptance for myself and my meditation practice, with each session a welcoming chance to learn more about my being. Since this is a deep pool to explore, perhaps it is one of the reasons why it sitting, eyes closed, focusing on one breath at a time, soft and vulnerable, can be difficult.
“He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe.” – Marcus Aurelius
If our home, internally and externally, is cluttered and messy it’s difficult to feel calm and present. In Feng Shui, we practice the arrangement of our spaces for optimum health and well-being. In meditation, wearrange our awareness for optimum benefits of decreased levels of stress and anxiety, overactive thoughts, and distractibility. Daily work to maintain balance in both our physical and mental spaces is crucial to happiness, peace, gratitude, and a loving presence. Without balance in all areas of our lives, we are like a four legged stool with one leg too short, lacking the stability required to live life to its fullest and most joyful.
As we enter the beautiful fall and winter months, may you find your moments to feel peacefully at home, metaphorically and literally.
Coach Julie Hartman
Julie Hartman is a Life Coach and Strategist based in Nashua, New Hampshire. Her mission is to inspire greatness and foster worthiness in people every day. Specializing in mindset, one of her gifts is seeing potential, possibilities, and creative problem-solving for others that support their personal and professional goals and ambitions. Julie has over 20 years of experience coaching, mentoring, and teaching. She designs and leads individual and group coaching programs, workshops, and intensives. She is committed to bringing the best of her experience and expertise to her work and strives to be a positive leader in personal growth, mindfulness, and self-development.
To connect with Julie, please visit JulieHartmanCoaching.com or email her directly at julie@juliehartmancoaching.com.